Hope

 

"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

So, I was talking with my friend about the huge crush I have for this guy, right? And after a couple of weeks of the same old talk about how he could totally like me and stuff she goes: "He doesn't like you, you just have to face it". At the time I was like, alright, a little harsh, but true. But, how do you go to liking somebody to just feel nothing. 'Cause that's the point, I just can't shut down my feelings. I don't have control over my heart. Whatever it is that I see in him, goes beyond ME. It's like he's the air that I breath everyday, without it I just couldn't breath.....OK, so that last part was a little dramatic, but in essence true. So, after talking with my friend and feeling just totally horrible I decided to just don't like him anymore, like I could have any control over that...haha. I spend all weekend just totally depress, without hope. Then on Monday I saw him..................................................Holy crap, is like all was forgotten and he and I was the only people in the room. "He had me at hello", like that Tom Cruise movie. I mean the way he talks to me, or the way he touches my arm every time he wants to make a point just drives me insane. And I know its maybe nothing, he may think of me as a friend, but I can't help the way my heart slows down every time I see him, or the way every time I'm sad and he smiles I can't help it but smile too. With him I just know there is HOPE in the world.......for Me.